"Today I'm going to be doing a historical drama. There was once this lass and she was called Elizabeth Bathory, because she spent a lot of time in the bath, bathing in virgin's blood she thought it would keep her eternally young but that's just nonsense. Everyone knows the virgin blood thing is just a myth. Everyone knows, to stay eternally young, you're supposed to bathe in the blood of trollops. But she didn't know that. So now she's dead. But I'm here. I've not got any trollop blood, or any virgin blood, or much blood to be honest I've got low blood pressure. But I've got some things that are a bit red. I've got this fake blood I've got some jam! I've got some lumpy red gunge, and some ice cream and custard mixed up with food colouring. So I'll give it a go! Well, I'm in a bath, so that's a bit Bathory. Well, it's a bit bathy"

Honeysuckle messifies her pretty gloves, then pours red dyed melted ice cream over her pale cleavage. Then she pours more sticky mess over her lovely fishnet tights. Back to her messy neckline "It went right down my dress! Who knew that would happen" Honeysuckle giggles, then realizes her back is far too clean. She decorates the back of her shoulders with sticky jam, as you do.

"What's next?" Her lovely long locks need more red gunge and sticky food. "I don't know if this will be as effective as trollop blood at keeping me eternally young. But it's been fun, that's the main thing. Everybody likes fun!" Honeysuckle finishes by pouring food and gunge over her face, spoiling her perfect makeup. She now resembles some kind of hotel room murder victim. But sweeter and stickier than that. "So that was me being Honeysuckle Bathory in this very accurate historical re-enactment." She smiles through the dripping mess, pleased with her latest messy adventure.